“The height of the mountaintop is measured by the drab drudgery of the valley.” Oswald Chambers
The last week has been a good week. No doubt about it. A fantastic week.
However, I can’t help but think: What if things had gone terribly a few days ago? What if I had been injured? What if I had not been chosen?
I have been there before. I know that feeling well. So many times it has not gone the way I wanted it to. Many teams not chosen for. Times of injury, of failure, when it just didn’t happen. There is so much uncertainty in sport (and in all of life, for that matter). Everyone works hard. Everyone sweats and sacrifices. But not everyone “succeeds.”
I want to rejoice in this mountaintop experience and feel it fully, even as I have fully felt the pain of failure so many times before. And I know had the failure not been such a real part of my journey, the mountaintop would not be so sweet.
I know this, too: God was still there loving me and in control when I was hurting and feeling like a failure as when I’m rejoicing and so excited. I want to remember also that I am still me—the same me I would have been had I not been able to go to Beijing.
I found this quote by Jen Abbas that sums up just how I feel. I think she was talking right to me!
"I wonder if you’ll come to a point, as I did, when you are so frustrated with you inability to control your circumstances that you’ll finally run, exhausted and overwhelmed, to the God who willingly took your hurts and sins upon Himself on the cross, who loves you unconditionally, and who provides a peace you can’t explain." Jen Abbas, Generation Ex